(four owls starts playing music and singing one of them starts to narrate]

Senor Flan: We are gathered here today to immortalize in song, the life and untimely death of a great legend. So sit back, relax, and enjoy your low calorie popcorn and assorted confections, while we tell you the strange and bewildering tale of a hero who has yet to enter his own story.

Rango: [breaths in with his eyes closed] Hmmm. Hmmmaoh. Muh. Mmmuh! Mmmmuh! Hmmmuh! Congy-creamy-coky-candle- cupcake. [shakes his face and opens his eyes] Okay, everybody! Let’s take it from the top.

Rango: The stage is set. The night moist with apprehension. Alone in her chamber, the princess prepares to take her own life. [he reveals a naked top of a plastic doll; Rango speaks as the princess in a woman’s voice] It is far better to nourish worms than to live without love! [changes his voice to his own as he moves the small glass drink] She reaches for the poison chalice. Meanwhile, (cut to a pool where a plastic orange wind up fish toy named Mr. Tims stands there doing nothing) the wicked Malvolio plots his ascension to the throne. [laughs wickedly] While her aging father lies gravely ill.

Rango:[in a voice of frail old man] Yes, I’m gravely ill.

[Rango continues with his stage play]

Rango: Hark, who goes there? [comes in with his shirt as a cape and speaks in the voice of a hero with a sword in his hand] It is I! The much anticipated hero returning to rescue his emotionally unstable maiden. Unhand her you jailers of virtue or taste the bitter sting of my vengeance! [he thrusts his sword forward again] The sting of my…the… [he stops his acting] Doctor Marks? Doctor Marks, I’m not getting anything from you! (sighs] People, we’ve talked about this! Acting is reacting. [he turns and talks to the palm tree behind him] Victor, you were wooden! There, I said it. [he turns and points to the plastic fish in the water puddle] Mister Tims, (a beat) you were good. Perhaps a little too good! What’